I caught sight of him on my way to the cash register to pay for the souvenir key chains I had brought for my family and immediately approached the shelf where he was perched with the other beanbag animals to grab and squeeze his snout with my hand.
It felt like a soft, woolly blanket against my fingertips, and I didn’t hesitate to lift him off the shelf and cradle him in my arms to bring him home with me. He was my San Francisco pig, to remind me of the fact that I had flown six hours on my own for the very first time in my life and enjoyed it.
It’s been exactly one year since I took this whirlwind trip to San Francisco, California on October 17, 2023, and looking back, that was the start of a massive transformation in my personal growth that has brought me to where I am right now.
When I returned from that trip, the dark cloud that greeted me every day upon waking up began to lift. Suddenly, I accepted who I was and where I was and began to live with purpose.
It was thanks in large part to that warm California sunshine that greeted me during those three glorious days of my trip, inviting me to go wherever I pleased, with no agenda or itinerary to bog me down.
This trip taught me to live in the present and bask in the little moments of life again, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem to anyone else.
Finding the San Francisco pig was one of those moments, but the entire tone for the trip was set when I first got to the train station to take me to Logan Airport in Boston, Massachusetts.
After checking the schedule to make sure my train was on time, I suddenly got the urge to eat an apple, which I rarely eat, to begin with. It was also a surprise because I tend not to want to eat much when traveling but something felt different this time.
So, I stood in line at Café La France and got myself a large honey crisp apple and a granola bar. I then left the terminal to sit outside so that I could remove my mask and eat the apple in peace, especially since I had about 15 minutes before my train arrived.
I sat on a cement bank outside of the train station and got to work on the apple, and it was as if all of my attention was hyper-focused on the texture, as well as how juicy it was and the not-too-sweet-, not-to-tart taste.
All I had to do was sit there and eat my apple, nothing else and just letting myself surrender to that simple task was a relief. My anxiety melted away, I wasn’t self-conscious, and soon my legs were swinging freely as I munched the apple, not caring how loud I was crunching and that my cheeks were flushed from the mask I had been wearing.
For the very first time before taking a trip, I was relaxed. I had no idea where I was going or what to expect throughout my journey, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to go on the trip and let it take me where it would take me. No plans, expectations, agenda, or worries.
I continued munching the remainder of the apple once I was on the train to Boston, bopping my head to the music on my headphones and looking out the window to my left.
My stomach fluttered but the relaxation didn’t give way to anxiety, it was full of excitement for not knowing what was ahead for me. I let my attention drift to look at the passengers all around me, out the window again, at my work cell phone to answer a question from one of our copy editors about an article I had written, and onto my lap.
The next thing I knew, I was at the airport, and it began to hit me that I would be flying all alone for six hours to a place I had never, ever been to.
It was what I needed at that time – no fear, structure, or hesitation to keep me away from the wild world waiting for me. And I could not wait.
When I boarded the plane, I felt like a kid going off to camp with her fellow campers and was happy I had selected an aisle seat for the flight.
My seatmate sat at the window seat and also sported a facial mask, which made me feel relieved.
I wiped down my seat and tray table with Lysol wipes and the lady with the mask smiled at me through her eyes.
“Sorry, I just have to,” I said.
“No worries, you should have seen me when I sat down,” she said, and we both chuckled.
Once I settled in my seat, I looked in her direction.
“I’ve never been to California before,” I said.
“Oh, you’re going to love it, it has such a good vibe,” she replied.
Once the plane’s engine roared awake, I knew there would soon be no going back home. But I didn’t want to go home, I wanted to go on with the trip, even though my legs were shaking beneath me.
“Are you okay?” the lady with the mask asked me.
“Yeah, I’m kind of an anxious flyer, I don’t like takeoffs,” I said.
“Don’t worry,” she answered. “You’ll be alright, you’ve got this.”
So instead of fighting the nerves by clenching my body tight the way I always do before taking off, I let myself float up into the air as the plane climbed higher.
I felt like a bird.
Here are some other sweet moments I’ll never forget from this trip:
- Finally reaching the Golden Gate Bridge after a shaky 25-minute bus ride
- Sipping a mug of hot, black tea I ordered for my breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant on my first morning in San Francisco, even though it was still rather warm outside for October
- Sinking my teeth into a warm, juicy In and Out burger and feeling underwhelmed by the toasted bun
- Chatting with a fellow Rhode Islander when I took the BART train during the first leg of my trip to the Golden Gate Bridge
- Finding a Beyonce waxed doll at a store in Downtown San Francisco
- Stopping at a little diner/café for endless cups of iced tea during a warm spell and reading “The Street” by Ann Petry for almost two hours
- Zipping down the streets of Downtown San Francisco on a cable car
Out of the three days that I was there, you’ll be surprised to learn that my favorite moment wasn’t the cable car (that one takes second place) or even walking on the Golden Gate Bridge.
It wasn’t losing my credit card at Logan Airport, getting lost on the BART train on my way back to the hotel from the Golden Gate Bridge, or when I suffered from heatstroke after walking to a neighborhood park which affected my speech for an hour or so.
My favorite moment of the trip was when I tasted a mango-flavored Bubly sparkling water from the hotel vending machine.
I had just gotten back from seeing the famous property featured in the 90s TV show “Full House” as the home of the Tanners and felt calm and content but very tired and thirsty.
I found the vending machine at the end of the first floor and recognized the Bubbly can and knew I should try something different.
It was frosty cold in my hand as I made my way back to the hotel room to drink it.
When I took the first sip, there was something so magical about trying this new, tasty drink in this strange place all alone.
I flipped through the TV channels as I sipped and the feeling I had when I was eating the apple at the train station returned but stronger.
I was alive, I was present, and I was me. It was a gift from God and I didn’t waste a single moment of it.
The Fearless Wordsmith 