For a good 15 years or so, I’ve had that problem with THAT song.
You know, the one song you hear once or twice in a blue moon but have no idea who sings it or what the title is.
And you can hear the entire song in your head, full blast, day and night, but you don’t know the lyrics and can only hum a little snippet of what it sounds like to the person you try to share this very big and very real problem with.
Then they look at you as if you have twelve heads and shake their heads sympathetically, wondering if you are truly okay.
One day about four years ago, THAT song just wouldn’t get out of my head, so I broke down and shared my anguish with my ex-boyfriend at the time, over the phone.
He asked me to hum a few bars and I cringed the entire time at how foolish I sounded.
“No, never heard of it,” he said absently, then yawned. And that’s one reason why THAT didn’t work out.
But life always helps you find what you are looking for at some point or another, and I am happy to share that on a Friday night late last month, THAT song was finally found.
And I just want to thank Instagram for saving my sanity after all these years.
On my Instagram feed that night, I came across a cartoon video showing a guy at a coffee shop listening to Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso” for the first time, with that all-too-familiar infatuated look on his face, the kind you get when you find THAT song.
He then hums the song while driving home, then while opening his front door, taking a shower, and finally in bed with his phone in hand, to a song search application (like Shazam).
The phone then gives him a ‘song not found,’ message and the poor guy settles into bed on his side with a maniacal smile on his face, as a voiceover states, ‘I have crippling depression’.
I laughed and then nearly cried at what I had just seen – it was exactly what I had been going through for years!
Something then compelled me to check the comments of the post, to see if anyone else could relate and that was when the solution fell on my lap.
One of the comments said to use Google microphone in that situation and I quickly navigated to it on my phone, my hands shaking.
I hummed THAT song and within a second, Google provided me with three search results, including one for a song called “Run” by Collective Soul.
As soon as I typed ‘Run’ in my Spotify search bar and played the song, I knew I had found it, and my heart did a little flip-flop before beating wildly in my chest.
In hindsight, I want to apologize to all my neighbors for my loud whooping and cheering at nearly 1 a.m. that morning, but I couldn’t help it.
THAT song was real and hadn’t just been a figment of my imagination for so many years and I could now hear it whenever and how many times I wanted.
But there’s also something kind of sad about finding what you’ve been seeking for so long – the desire for THAT one thing is gone because you’ve obtained it and you no longer feel the thrill of trying to find it or chase it.
You are only left with the sweet memory of it being found, which I will never forget.
The Fearless Wordsmith 